Finally-Comfort by C.B.

I try-
But I can't get this stupid door open again,
and I drop my papers,
As I pick up a plastic truck.
The phone rings, more bad news,
another bill that was forgottern in the
turmoil of our lives,

So here we are---
sitting right here on this pink bed,
sun bouncing off of prisms,
a room full of tiny rainbows.
There should be loving on a day like this,
your shirt sexy as it falls ever so softly
over a tan shoulder,
But not today---
because tears are sending
streaks of black makeup,
from bright blue eyes---
to quivering pink lips,
so i hold you tighter,
and caress your hair,
and wish that I knew how to be
strong for you.
The phone rings again,
and we can't handle anything else today.
So I stand and shut the door,
and know that if the phone keeps ringing,
the kids will wake up---
and I will have to leave you,
to take care of them.
So we both cry a lot,
and then a soft kiss,
and we go to the kitchen
to make dinner.
It is so hard----
when things keep going wrong.
The car breaks down, and
so many bills that we have to pay.
I get scared because i have never felt safe,
to not have everything in its place.
But, that is not security,
and that is way I never
had enough.

During Dinner,
You drop gravy on your shirt,
and then you make a silly joke
and start to laugh,
so hard,
that you end up falling on the floor.
I pull you up into a hug,
and feel happy in spite of all
of our trouble.

At night,
I lie next to you,
your hair falling all around,
feeling your soft breath on my cheek,
and i finally feel safe.
You moan in you sleep,
when baby stirs,
and with a kiss I rise,
to check on our boys.
This house is quiet,
nightlight sends shadows down the hall,
I peek in their room,
and know that they are safe.
It is new to be this comfortable,
but I am not going to be scared.
I am just going to go back to bed,
cuddle up real close to you,
and know that I am loved.