stupid blog ~C.B.

Stupid blog
This is a silly blog. I was watching this video and thought of jess and thought i would share. Whenever anyone asks jess what she wants to be...she says "a rockstar" She seriously could be....cuz when she had her band...she rocked hard...and people loved her...course we are both getting old (LOL) Anyway, it is still funny when she is in European politics...getting straight As and her instructor says..."what are you gonna do when you get out of school?" and she smiles a wicked smile...."I wanna be a rockstar." I am so proud So, I think Pink is way funny...and dorky.... and believe me dorky is totally cool. But, this video reminds me so much of my baby. I'm gonna tell you all a little story. First, I'll tell you a short one to show you just exactly what I am dealing with here...Before Brian left (7 years ago) he wanted to go out to eat and talk. Jess was angry but she sighed..."o.k......whatever...just leave me here......fine." We left...and she was standing in the living room. Brian and I got in a huge fight on the way to dinner about stuff that needed to be taken care....it was really bad and I told him to take me home instantly. So, about 15 to 20 minutes after we left...we came home. Jess was sitting on the front lawn...slobbering drunk. "If I have to stay here alone....the party is coming to me."
Anyway, I guess that you teetottlers out there could say that she sounds like a person with an alcohol problem...but although she likes a beer sometimes in the evening...she rarely drinks and never more than one or two drinks at a time.
So....about the video. Last year...in october... i think....jess and I got in a huge argument. It was one that we grew to be proud of. We grade our arguments and performance...and then we talk about it later and laugh at how mean either of us can be. Maybe not the most normal of things to do...but we think it is healthy because the bad times are part of our relationship too....(just like the good times) so we try to embrace them. So, Last October....after our fight...I think Jess may have thrown a brush at me by the end of it (barely missing me).... or else something equally as stupid.... and I screamed "You can just get the hell out...go stay at Alice's or something...you have friends...go find one." She was pissed..."Yeah you tell me to leave all of the time when you get pissed.....f*** you....I am out." She grabbed her keys and slammed the door behind her. (I know.... the whole thing sounds terribly dramatic)....anyway, the kids were already asleep so I turned off the lights, locked the deadbolt (messed up thing to do...and I know this),turned my phone off and went to bed. I fell asleep...I was so angry. I woke up two hours later...the anger gone...and was worried about where my baby had went....would she come home? She usually just drove around the block and came back...but she hadn't come home this time. Had she went to party? How was I gonna deal with it in the morning....the fight wasn't even over anything real at all....just an emotional outpouring. Well, I walked out to the living room to see if she was in the house....of course the deadbolt was locked...but, maybe she would be sitting in the driveway....No...she wasn't there. Of course it was only two hours...but it felt much longer because I had been asleep. So I turned on my phone. There were like 35 calls on the phone. First she was angry and mad at me for telling her to leave...then there was like 10 calls with some song (that I couldnt hear cuz apparently she wasn't holding the phone up to the speaker) then there were like 15 calls....every time her voice getting more and more slurred....telling me how terribly cold that I was....and how mean....and uncaring. So, after listening to all of the calls...and understanding the state that my baby was in....I called her phone. She picked up the second time I tried ringing, "What do you want?" She was in between crying and anger. "Where are you....I know that you are drunk...I am gonna come get you....you better not drive anywhere."
"Whatever!" she screamed "what the F*** do you care....Leave me alone...I am happy...without youuuuuu." I laughed in spite of the situation. "Are you in Casper? Come on Jess... it has only been two hours...you couldn't have gotten veryfar. You aren't in Casper are you? Are you at the bar out here? I am gonna come and find you....I am gonna walk and it is late...and I am cold and in my pajamas...but, I am gonna walk and come and get you."
She was silent. "You better not!...Leave me alone!...I am happy here...with my beer....and my truck....and my music. I am gonna party right here and then I am gonna go somewhere else.....cuz...you are mean....and I DONT NEED YOU!" I opened the door and slammed it so that she could hear that I was going outside. "I am walking...I am not gonna put on a coat.....I am gonna walk everywhere till I find you...even if it takes me all night long." Now this whole town is like 3 blocks long....couldn't really be much of a walk. I stated walking down the street. At the end of the block...just out of the view of the house....a truck suddenly turned on the lights. There was baby....sittin in her truck...I walked down to the truck and leaned on the window....she was drunk as hell...bottles of whiskey and a six pack of beer.....and smoking ... (a pack so far..and she doesn't smoke) " I wanna stay here. Why can't you leave me alone?" I was laughing inside....like crazy, which was a little mean but this all just seemed so silly to me.
"You didn't make it very far?....What....did you just drive to the liquor store and the convenience store and then came here? Huh? And....what in the hell are you listening to?"
"K.D. Lang....I sent it to you on the phone cuz that is how I feel....and you....didnt even know what it was...yeah.....that is just F**** great."
I told her to scoot over so that I could drive the car home cuz I was freezing...and I was standing on the cold street and (like an idiot) didn't even have any shoes on. "I thought you would have gone to Casper," I tried not to laugh as I drove the truck to our house. "Well I was gonna....I asked Alice to come get me and she told me to go home where I belonged...she told me to be smart so that I didn't have to deal with it later. Then she told me that I shouldn't be driving anyway....I didn't have anywhere to go....and I don't ever want to go Anywhere...or be anywhere....when you aren't there."
Anyway, that is the story...But, I heard this song and I thought of her and how much it sounded like her...and kinda looked like anything she would do in that situation too....made me laugh.....How very Rockstar! I guess that she owes me one now...so maybe when she isn't tired...I will get a story about my bad behavior....and I will be oh so deserving